The Unplanned Path

Lessons from two layoffs and more

I lost my job a few months back. The suddenness of it was jarring—I was confused, scared, and profoundly sad. Looking back now, I've realized it was a blessing in disguise. A life transition that led to many hours of introspection, clarity, and adventure.

I've been a PM for 7+ years now at both big tech companies and startups. I've survived two layoffs and made mistakes along the way, but from them, I've had the privilege to learn about myself. Understanding myself better and more clearly is the best thing I can do for myself. Self-understanding leads to clearer thinking and less room to make mistakes or repeat the same ones. I wanted to share this in case it was helpful for anyone going through the same thing.

Your Self-Worth Is More Than Your Job

This mindset shift is something I need to continue to practice. During both of my layoffs, I was fortunate enough to take time off. I spent this time doing what I loved: reading, spending time with my family in Nepal, traveling, and exploring the outdoors. In these moments, my full-time job was to be completely immersed in these activities—being a learner, a granddaughter, cousin, and fellow lover of the outdoors.

I gained so much joy from doing these things: playing memory games with my grandmother, feeding unlimited bananas to my very hungry 1-year-old cousin, being my aunt's makeup artist at her wedding, and being in awe of the beautiful snow-capped mountains during sunrise. When my aunt told me she was extremely grateful to have me at her wedding in Spain, it reminded me that my self-worth is derived from more than getting validation from team members at work or hitting a certain KPI. I am enough by simply being me.

However, this mindset is something I need to continue practicing every day. I've noticed that when I get back into work, the pattern returns: I put all of my self-worth into my job and I lose myself. This is something I need to actively and constantly work on, especially when I'm reintegrated back into a job.

What You Want Changes Over Time—Embrace It

When I lost my job the second time, I thought it would look similar to the last time. I'd go back to applying for another job and want to work 9-5. However, I was surprised by what I found. What I wanted had shifted. I had this desire to explore working for myself and going down a non-traditional path. This surprised and scared me—I had never done this before, but I was in a unique position to give it a shot.

The biggest thing I've learned in this process is to trust myself more. Listening to that inner voice that guides and encourages me to try things, especially when things are uncertain and not easy. When I look back at my 20s, I want to remember it by being proud of trying. Trying by doing.

Rest Has A Purpose

My natural state has been that of a doer. I enjoy routine. I want to put my 1000% into everything that I deeply care about. This typically translates to a schedule where I am always doing something—working out, reading, spending time with family and friends. I feel an immense amount of guilt for simply resting or vegetating on the couch. The guilt comes from not feeling like I'm producing an output: a document, a thoughtful dialogue, etc. I feel like I'm being lazy.

Most recently, I experienced a series of health issues all compacted in a week. Somehow, I mustered the energy to complete an 8-mile run. After, my body did not want to do anything. One hour of watching The Bear turned into two, and on and on we go. Every few minutes, I'd feel an immense amount of guilt for resting. My mind would want to be doing things, but my body didn't give. After a few text exchanges with my friend, I conceded and decided that for that day I would fully just rest (I did still get 2 hours of cleaning in). The results? The next day, I woke up refreshed and re-energized.

Through this experience, I realized that rest has a purpose. It does not mean you're lazy; it means you are giving your body and mind the time to do what it needs to feel energetic. This experience truly changed the way I view rest and made me realize that our bodies are intelligent and we should listen to them more rather than resisting them.

Looking Inward Is the Biggest Favor We Can Do For Ourselves

My first month applying for jobs, I mindlessly applied to opportunities to gain interview practice. After completing 20+ interviews, I realized this strategy was costly. I underestimated the amount of emotional and mental preparation required to interview at companies that I would eventually reject offers from. It was also wasting the companies' time. I got lucky in that I was rejected from some of these roles, making it easier.

One thing I've changed after reflecting on my strategy is to deeply reflect and answer one important question: what do I want? It’s a simple question, but not an easy one to answer. To answer this question, I took a first principles approach. Before, I had applied for whatever open roles I could find. Now, I shifted my strategy to looking inward and answering these four questions. The goal was to break down what I wanted into different elements. This was a strategy recommended by a course I took with Shreyas Doshi. It helped me gain more clarity on what I wanted and will hopefully mean that I am wrong less often.

• What kind of life do I want?

• What are my superpowers? For this question, I reached out to my trusted colleagues and asked them what they think my superpowers are.

• What type of work energizes and drains me?

• What type of people do I love working with?

The Bigger Picture

The truth is, in the grand scheme of things, a job is only one part of your life. You get what you put into it and how much you let it influence and impact your life. Having this time off has helped me reflect and think more clearly and strategically about what I want next.

If you're going through a similar transition, remember that these moments of uncertainty, while difficult, can be incredible opportunities for growth and self-discovery. It shapes your ability to adapt and become resilient. All qualities that help you navigate the ebbs and flows of life.

Take the time to look inward and trust yourself. The path may be unplanned, but that doesn't make it wrong. Sometimes the most meaningful journeys are the ones we never saw coming—they're all part of becoming who you're meant to be.